I confess I have stuff envy from time to time. I have lots of friends that never seem to have a care in the world when it comes to money- and here I am with my calculator figuring out the per unit cost of garbage bags at the grocery store.
The same friends always have cute haircuts, new clothes, fancy cars and the worst sin of all- Starbucks coffees! I admit to being more than a little jealous from time to time and thought I would address how I handle my sulky moments.
- I get free stuff. I use coupons and deals to “treat” myself to indulgences. As I was unpacking the free bottles of Nivea Body Wash this weekend, I commented to my husband that I never would have bought them in the past when we spent four times what we spend now. I adore Nivea and always considered it too expensive to buy- I used to buy the store brand. Now that I know how to coupon and play the drugstore game, I always have fun, new products to try.
- I stay focused on our goals. As I discussed here, I have our current financial goals taped to the wall of our closet (aka my office). My husband used to balance all of our accounts once a month and we’d have a budget meeting and he would update me on what we have in savings etc.. I then update the goal we are currently working on (right now it is getting 6 months of expenses into savings), which is posted on the wall as well. We have started doing this twice a month now as our progress has been impressive and it helps with my impatient nature to see more frequent success.
- I change my mindset. My daughter and I take frequent walks in our neighborhood. This is the hardest part for me as most of our neighbors have beautifully landscaped homes with lawn services, brand new paint, fences etc.. etc… I always feel like our house is the worst in the community- especially since professional services are not in our budget and we both hate yard work. Instead of focusing on what we don’t have, I focus on how lucky we are to live in this area! What an enviable position to be in- a perfectly located area with no traffic, no crime, every amenity of a metropolitan area and not a shabby house for miles. Despite being in California, there are no foreclosures in our community. We can virtually leave our doors unlocked and not worry about a thing.
- I remember what is important. Our income is significantly less than it was a few years ago but we are so much happier! I used to work in a job I hated for employers I hated. Now I enjoy blogging and I am so happy to be able to stay home with our daughter. My husband used to commute 2 hours a day. Now he commutes six minutes and comes home for lunch. He has an incredibly flexible schedule and we always get comments because he is active in all of our daughter’s extracurricular activities.
- We are honest with ourselves and others. We don’t drive fancy cars because we paid cash for what we drive. I don’t have $150 highlights and a $200 hoodie to wear to Safeway because we have chosen to become debt free rather than living paycheck to paycheck. I always assume people have all those things because they make significantly more money than we do. A friend recently confessed to me they have almost $100,000 in consumer debt- between school loans, cars and credit cards! The worst part was the blase attitude they had about the debt! I assume that is an extreme example but there is no way to know what other people’s situation really is.
The funny thing is- the more I blog about great deals, the less motivated I am to get them! Don’t get me wrong, I still love a great deal and I love the challenge of stretching our dollars from week to week. I think I just want less stuff. I am content with the stuff we have and honestly don’t have any desire to spend my time in malls or sitting at the hair salon.
Here are a few other great articles from other bloggers on this topic:
How to Want Less by It’s Frugal Being Green
Don’t Envy Debt by the Stretchy Dollar
[email protected] says
This is such a well written post. It’s so easy to get caught up in “stuff”. Like you said, we often assume that people w/ the most “stuff” make the most money but in reality, they very likely could just have the most debt.
I know a couple that could easily go out and buy whatever they wanted (in cash). They could have quite the impressive house and the same w/ vehicles but they don’t. They could, but they don’t. Why? B/c that’s not where their priorites are. They are not out trying to have the biggest and best.
I think we all can learn from this article, Charlene, and focus on being content on where we are at. Thanks for pointing it out to us!
ashleyd! says
i needed this post today. i really really did. thank you!
Charlene says
Glad you liked my late night ramblings ladies!
Anonymous says
I live in an area with a lot of money and what you describe in your neighborhood. With layoffs happening in this area I am now proud to be frugal and prepared and not stressed like so many people!
Hilmarose says
“The funny thing is- the more I blog about great deals, the less motivated I am to get them! “
I wasn’t gonna comment until I read this line. I have gotten to the same place reading the great deals on many blogs as far as I used to get my list and coupons ready to go… like to walgreens… would go several times a week to get all of the great deals I could… now I am like “hmmm do I really need it?
I’ve only done the living well a few times but have no desire to go again, skipped some good sales/deals at albies just cuz I have so much already. I am really glad these deals are posted so I can get what I NEED but I am not gonna go get the nivea just for the RR… I have lotion from another sale (and have given much away) and I just don’t need it.
I will buy something if it is something I will use or can give away… like the .07 cereal I got at albies in the recent past… it was wonderful to take it to the food bank!!!
Thanks for sharing this post.
I wonder how many others get to the point if I don’t need it I won’t buy it?
Emily (Laundry and Lullabies) says
I liked this post. I live in Southern CA in a decent part of town. My kids can play outside without my worrying about them, and I am staying at home with them instead of putting them in daycare. I am glad, glad, glad for these things.
Still, it can be hard to see others seem to have so much, like you said, when we are living as if it were paycheck to paycheck in order to save and give.
One of the things my husband and I have done in the midst of our frugal endeavors is to give ourselves a “discretionary” budget each month. It isn’t much, but it gives us the freedom to say “yes, I really do want that mocha today” or “yes, that book is one I really want to own.” For us, this has really helped us not to feel deprived, while still pursuing our financial goals.
BDO says
One thing I’ve noticed is that businesses have “deals” and “sales” because they are hoping that while you are “saving money” on one item, you will be convinced by their other marketing to buy something else that is not a deal. Good call on just staying away from the temptation! Keep up the good work!
thriftgirl62 says
Broke with a Rolls Royce in the Garage and Big Red Race Boat in the San Francisco Bay. The monthly rent on the custom boathouse is a house payment! And, yes I'm glad I'm broke. I did it on purpose. That stuff is paid off and just sits there. The dust is horrible. Pictures are on Twitter @thriftgirl62 Follow me for lots of fun!
Enough money is enough. Too much gets irritating. Where's the happy medium as most of you think I'm crazy. NO, just eccentric with a Millionaire Dating website now. Broke with toys!!
Erica Daniels says
Awesome, and to think, I get envious when I watch your vlogs!